my life was filled with pain and hardship. My husband did not treat me well, he had no respect for me.
Often, he would leave the house without leaving any food behind, and when he returned home drunk, he would demand a meal, even though he had provided nothing.
It was an incredibly difficult situation to live in.
I lived in deep distress. My days were spent crying, wondering how I would survive.
To feed my children, I had to work as a mason’s assistant, a grueling job for a woman. We lived in tents in Gatumba, which was a constant source of trauma for me. I felt completely alone, isolated, and without any hope for the future.”
My relationship with my husband was filled with conflict, I struggled to respect him, and communication between us was strained. Whenever I asked him for something, his responses would take days, leaving me feeling ignored and frustrated. I found myself losing patience, unable to understand his reactions, and the arguments became part of our daily lives
Home has become a place of warmth and joy. I have learned to welcome my husband with respect, regardless of his state, and I taught my children to greet their father with love and enthusiasm. The impact has been profound—his behavior has changed!
In public, things were no better. He would humiliate me in front of other women we worked with, stripping me of my dignity. At home, he refused to provide for our children. I was left alone to care for them, relying only on the small profits from my work to survive.
Christian? Sure, but forgiveness? Not in my vocabulary. My home was a dojo; my children were my verbal punching bags. Prayer was my refuge, but ironically, I was ready to argue with anyone in its name. I was a walking storm, a ‘mama-general’ always at war, but with no army for support.”
For a while, I thought I had found peace. I met a young man, and though we were poor, we lived without fear. But poverty doesn’t wait. It tightened its grip until we had no choice but to return to his home province. He promised we would have land there, a better life. By then, we had five children, and I was carrying another.
Traumas? Oh, I had plenty, neatly stacked in my mind. I lived a life filled with negativity, hopelessness, and deep pessimism. My neighbors? All converted into ‘imaginary enemies.’ I spoke to no one without suspicion.
That changed everything for me. I realized how much damage my words had caused. I saw that I hadn’t truly been a mother to my children. But I also understood something powerful: I could change. And I chose to.
Well, I’m not going to lie to you, at first, I thought, “This sounds nice, but will it work against deadly slopes?”
Little by little, I realised how I need healing and started a journeyto healing by RGW trauma-healing teachings. Now I am able to face my fears instead of running from them.
